i am sorry...

dear...

i know u r lonely
i know u r feeling helpless
i know u hurt so much since last 2 weeks
i know it..

i know it very well even u r not visibly showing that to me
it hurts me seeing u like this
it hurts me more when u fell down yesterday during ur tournament
it broke my heart knowing u were bleeding.. even it is not serious..it still hurt me..

when u called me, its not that i dont want to talk to u
i know u need someone by ur side
i know u really need someone to accompany u
i know u wish someone will always be with u to push away ur sadness n ur stress

n i know that 'someone' is me...

but i'm sorry...
I AM SO SORRY...
i really have a lot of works
i stuck to do my reports
i have test
i have reports to be finished
1 major project
i really dont have much time for this 'last-minute' work again
*sigh*

that's why i cannot talk to you for long
that's why i cannot often come to you

but i wish i could..
i owe u so much
u r the closest person to me
u fulfilled almost everything that i wanted

i really want to accompany u..
but please understand me a bit
i may not telling u my situation cz i dont want to burden u some more
but i jz really need u to understand me
jz 2 months..then i'll be with u..insyaAllah..

please dont think that i'm not there for u
i am always by ur side
but this time, ouh no2..this week.. i really need this week..
ok?
i'm sorry for hurting u..
i didnt mean it..
it hurts me when u ended our conversation jz like that
i really want to cry, but it's ok if u r alright..
i jz need the old u.. the most cheerful person i ever know..

dear,
i really LOVE u...
please push away..far away..ur bad feeling..ur stress..ur unwanted feeling..
please dear please..
I am always here for u...