Experiment n testing

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Our life is always being directed / being told
Tp life in PhD, xde sape pnah bgtau..

Semua benda dlm hidup mesti ada ups n downs..
Kata hidup bak roda, x gitew?

I always thought that student life is more way easier than any other job
I worked once, I studied a lot..that's why I put my thinking that way

But what I can say now is PhD life is incomparable with any other life kt dunia
Bila everything going smooth, u might be the happiest person on earth
Tp bila satu je masalah which will lead n effect ur result, u'll feel like everything is dumped on u

When peoples ask about PhD, I'm going to be even now
I always say, pk btol2 b4 pursue..
X macam masters dlu, I always ask peoples around me to join!
But for PhD,the stress is different..

U can't imagine how the stress can really affect ur daily life..

Aaaaaa x sabaqqq nk abeh wehhhh..

#rambutdhberubanbykpikiaq

Currently

I thought that life of any student would be the same
But it doesn't seems so now

My principle is easy..
If I got a lab work, I'll spend my days even night at lab, regardless weekdays or weekends
It's all because it is my responsibility and my aim to complete this as soon as possible

But if I don't have lab works to do, I rather spend my life at room
Yeah it sounds so damn free and good, isn't it?

Let me tell u how it works
I woke up in the morning with a very fresh mind
To try writing some papers, reports or to analyze the data
But believe me, u can spend 1.5 hours without writing anything!
And believe me, u can feel ur mind is so tired of thinking

And..u may end up urself lying on the bed..again n again..
It feels better to take a nap just to let ur mind rest

And now I'm lying on my bed for the 2nd time of the day
«tiring eyes n mind»

XOXO

I need to let it go

It's been 3 and half years..
But everytime I saw that logo,it hurts me, even more
The logo would remind me where I supposed to be, what I supposed to do, and the most important thing, that's my dream job ever

My roomate and I had a long conversation about this
She experienced the same damn feeling
She reminded me that,maybe this is the best time to let this feeling goes
It's been too long to keep this pain

Just believe that,Allah wants u to learn how to go through this hardship, to appreciate what u have, to move forward without any regrets, and to accept ur fate dgn redha..
InsyaAllah,if u manage to get over it, He will always give u a better life, instead that's the best for u
Cuz u never know what's the best to u,until it comes at the right time
2013 is coming, I should left d pain, and welcome the happiness with my warmest heart
And i know, I've been blessed a lot since I'm here
And I am really thankful about it
Alhamdulillah..It's not that difficult to say it right?

reminder

it's been a while since my last writing

banyak sangat nk update, tapi jari jemari sudah longlai untuk menaip

cukuplah sekadar aku katakan yang life sebagai phd student semakin hari semakin susah

tp ini jalanku, jalan yang aku pilih, jalan yang Dia bawa untukku

aku redha, malah amat bersyukur

everybody has their own pathway, and this is mine

sometime I'm stuck nowhere, sometime I don't even know where to start

but one thing I know

He is always with me, right beside me, regardless I remember Him or not

*poor me for spending time which I ignored Him

and so do you

if you stuck, if you happy, never ever leave Him behind

I know, you know, we know, the best quote would be His ayah in noble Quran

and I hope, I will never feel the gap with Him

if I can't catch Him, I won't catch anything in this life

Ramadhan Kareem 1433

Ramadhan tiba lagi.. 
belum terlambat rasanya untuk aku ucapkan Salam Ramadhan untuk semua..


setiap tahun pasti Ramadhan dalam hidup ini mempunyai cerita yang berbeza

2008: http://zirconlife.blogspot.com/2008/09/home.html
2010: http://zirconlife.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html
2011: http://zirconlife.blogspot.com/2011/08/ramadhan-1432.html

2012...
hari ini, 3 Ramadhan.. genaplah 8 bulan pemergian ayah tercinta..
Ramadhan pertama tanpa ayah sememangnya amat sepi..

tatkala imam mengalunkan bacaan ini, deras air mataku mengalir..
inilah ayat yang wajib ayah alunkan, terutamanya waktu solat maghrib berjemaah dgn ayah..

aku terlalu rindukan ayah..


May the barakah of Ramadhan fill this empty soul..

Ya Allah, berikanlah kami kekuatan, kesabaran dan kegembiraan..
semoga rohnya dalam jagaanMu yang terunggul..

sebab & alasan

aku percaya semua orang pernah mencapai kejayaan
dan
aku percaya semua orang pernah mengalami kegagalan
dalam apa jua bidang; pelajaran, kerjaya, keluarga mahupun percintaan

aku juga pernah mengalami keduanya

suatu masa dulu, aku punya cita-cita
cita-cita yang aku kira tinggi menggunung
cita-cita yang ku mimpikan atas dasar "comfort zone" aku aku lalui

sejak kecil, aku kira perjalanan hidupku amat mudah tetapi "excellent"!
tamat "primary school", aku berpeluang ke sekolah asrama penuh
tamat "high school", aku berpeluang ke matrikulasi
aku kira ini semua sudah cukup "lucky" walaupun aku tak berpeluang ke "oversea"!

tamat matrikulasi, aku ditawarkan ke satu universiti yang pada ketika itu dikagumi (i guess so)
di mana, kemasukan ke universiti itu memerlukan proses "interview" bagai
dan di universiti, aku ditawarkan biasiswa di mana hanya aku (dalam 'batch' aku) yang dapat
dan aku "graduated" dengan "result" yang sederhana
yang aku kira berbekalkan "result" itu, aku mampu mendapat apa yang aku impikan

bukankah kehidupan itu begitu selesa???

tetapi seharusnya kita ingat, perancangan Allah itu lebih baik dari apa yang kita impikan!

aku rasa aku jatuh teruk di kala aku tidak mendapat kerja yang aku impi-impikan
aku rasa remuk bila gambaran gaji yang aku kejar tidak akan aku dapat walaupon separuh dari itu!

dan hanya Allah yang tahu derita itu masih berbekas hingga ke hari ini
hanya Allah tahu, aku baru belajar untuk hidup di saat itu..
malah.... hanya Allah tahu yang itu adalah TERBAIK untukku walau pada hakikatnya, aku pasrah
dan.. pasrah itu menyerah

tetapi... itu semua dulu...

sekarang, aku yakin bahawa Allah telah memberi aku pengajaran hidup yang tak akan aku dapat walau sejauh mana aku pergi dan setinggi mana aku berada

dan sekarang, aku mula tertanya sendiri...
'untuk apa aku inginkan kerja seperti itu'
'untuk apa aku kejar angka-angka duit itu'
'dan sampai bila aku harus terus mengejar yang kalau bukan itu milikku & terbaik untukku'

apa yang aku pasti...
"Innama'amalu, binniat" : sesungguhnya sesuatu amalan itu adalah bergantung kepada niat

sebelum terlambat, ayuh bermuhasabah..
tanyalah diri, apa dan KENAPA
biarlah apa yang dilakukan setimpal dengan bekalan untuk ke akhirat...

dan yakinlah, Allah tidak pernah mengatakan tidak kepada doa-doa kita..
jika doa itu tidak dimakbulkan hari ini, mungkin esok..
jika tidak esok, mungkin nanti..
dan jika tiada nanti, Allah gantikan dengan yang lebih baik..

bersangka baiklah dengan Allah

maturity

who is agree that maturity comes along with your age?

and

who is agree that maturity comes with you experiences?

or..

who is agree that maturity comes with your common sense?

I'm counting your vote now..

ok, just joking.. I am not doing a survey here.. ;-)

I still remember, it was in 2008 after me and my friends done with our internship program..

when everybody came back to school, for final year, a big change was shown in each one of us..

it was in our attitude, manners, understandings, and so on..

but the main thing was, everybody changed!

and I would say that it was a good transformation..

every person seems to know how to deal with life better, how to consult people, how to genuinely communicate but yet to offend people..

these are the things that I am talking about..

and we noticed it.. we brought the experience to the working life..

now I'm still dealing with education things..

and I was expecting the peoples around me would be much much more experienced..

because, we are not in the bubble of freshie!

we are no more undergraduate students..

but why.. why there is still people that act like an undergraduate?

oh no, this is even worse, she acts like a school student!

come on, grow up la!

you are still playing those games we used to tease friends in high school by putting the disgusting lizard egg on my phone? and you try to scare people by standing at their back door?

that's annoying!

you are so ignorant that you avoid to understand the signs we give to you that we are offended enough when you are always take advantage on us?

you have no human sense!

and you are just make us annoyed with u more each and every day!

peoples, help me to deal with this kind of species..

i just dont know what to do.. -_-

Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a, baginda Nabi S.A.W telah bersabda, "Barang siapa yang telah meringankan salah satu daripada kesusahan orang mukmin di dunia, maka Allah akan meringankan salah satu kesusahannya di hari kiamat"

dont make peoples feel hard to deal with u..

5 bulan

n the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful...

3 Muharram - 3 Jamadil Akhir..

5 bulan telah berlalu..
aaaahh..pantas semuanya..

tp terasa spt aku masih mempunyai dia..
aku masih terasa dia jauh kerna dia di hospital menjalani rawatan..

tp apa yg aku pasti...

aku akan tetap merindui dia... menyayangi dia..

dialah ayahku, imamku, guruku, ketuaku..

walaupun keperitan kehilangannya tidak dapat aku gambarkan..
tetapi, aku tetap bersyukur kerana Allah telah mengurniakannya padaku suatu ketika dahulu...

AL - FATIHAH...

Ya Allah, pindahkan dia dr kesempitan kubur ke syurga KhuludMu..

congrats my bestie!

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful...

it's March!

and what I have for this month???

it was my best friend's wedding!

1st of all, million congratulations my dear roommate!!!

even it was a hectic week, I still managed to be there..

to attend your big day..

with biggest present I guess.. :-p

btw, sorry for being a bit late and only there during your main ceremony..

willing to take a flight, only for you! :)

u must be wondering where I got this pic, aren't u? :p

u were so gorgeous, seriously!

and I am deeply happy as there is someone that'll always be with you..

and I know, he's the best! definitely! :D

last words, I pray that you'll have a good life in your upcoming days..

and you'll complete each other

keep in touch,

FRIEND FOREVER!!

yours sincerely,

dzeti

(roommate 05-09) *wink wink*

weekend dilemma

what peoples normally do during weekend?
when i'm currently pursuing my studies, i mean full time study, all the memories keep on hitting my brain

it was 7 years back since my 1st year..
undergraduate time was really interesting, wasn't it?

I still remember, most of my weekend I enjoyed spent it in tronoh or ipoh *wink2 ;-) *
its either 'qada' tdo, or movies+makan2, kan cik rumet?

but the feelings are so much different now
as the days approaching weekend, I'll keep on thinking of going back
the feeling comes stronger when I think about my mom

and I know it well.. it's mainly because I lost my precious ayah..
I keep on thinking, who else can always be by her side after her lost

if I could, I would want to spend my entire seconds with her
that's why I always have my weekend dilemma
or can I call it as HOMESICK? ^_^

ok, lets compare with married peoples..
as they are apart from their family or spouse, they tend to travel back and forth for almost every week!
and it's definitely because they miss their family!

so I am questioning myself...
why..why we are as sons and daughters, we are barely to do that to our parent..

if only we know we don't have much time, definitely we'll do it, aren't we?

lets thank to Allah as He is still giving us the time to collect our pahala thru our parent..
this is the easiest way to Jannah, insyaAllah.. =)